Craving Control Read online

  For Ida Montoya, escaping her predetermined destiny means leaving behind everything she’s ever known and making her own way in the world. No more easy money. No motherly hugs to soothe her hurt. No soft place to fall when she messes it all up.

  Felix Von Sonderberg—Crown Prince of a country he wishes he could change, son to a father he despises, future husband to a woman he’s never met—yearns to experience life out from under the shadow of his family name. For him, the offer of one year to do as he pleases, in a country where nobody knows him, seems like the perfect salve to his scarred soul.

  Employing the services of a beautiful young woman to pander to his every whim during his year of freedom should be the perfect plan. All the fun with no strings to cut when the time comes to leave.

  What could possibly go wrong?

  Only everything. Ida might become the one thing he’s not willing to give up in order to have the heavy crown that has belonged to him since birth finally placed upon his head.

  This free insta-love, royal romance novella was part of Aleatha Romig’s bestselling Fidelity Kindle World until earlier this year. It is now being offered as a first taste of sorts for the upcoming Full Circle Security Incorporated series that will be debuting later this year.

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  SUBSCRIBE TO RECEIVE ROUGH MIX STRAIGHT TO YOUR INBOX

  It's a universal tale.

  Two kids from the wrong side of the tracks head to LA to make it big.

  Drugs, sex, and rock n roll-it's the dream of too many to count.

  Five years later, and their band, Miscreant Mischief, is barely a blip on the scene and not much else has gone to plan. Sure, the drugs are abundant, and the sex is plentiful, but the promised rock n roll has been traded for shitty gigs in seedy clubs for little pay.

  Her head tells her to go home. His heart swears their big break is just around the corner.

  One chance encounter with a music mogul from her past and an underhanded deal made behind her back later, and they're set on the path to stardom.

  Their career is about to catch fire.

  Pity all their secrets could send their hard work up in flames.

  Rough Mix is a free weekly rock-star romance serial delivered straight into my Ultimate Insider’s inboxes every Thursday night. Subscribe as a VIP reader to receive your episodes (all previous installments and the current episode) to your nominated email address.

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  CONTENTS

  Other titles by Kylie Hillman

  Become an Insider

  Author Note

  Dedication

  Playlist

  Prologue

  One

  Two

  Three

  Four

  Five

  Six

  Seven

  Eight

  Nine

  Ten

  Eleven

  Twelve

  Thirteen

  Fourteen

  Fifteen

  Sixteen

  Seventeen

  Eighteen

  Nineteen

  Twenty

  Twenty-One

  Twenty-Two

  Twenty-Three

  Twenty-Four

  Twenty-Five

  Twenty-Six

  Twenty-Seven

  Twenty-Eight

  Twenty-Nine

  Thirty

  Thirty-One

  Thirty-Two

  Thirty-Three

  Thirty-Four

  Thirty-Five

  Thirty-Six

  Thirty-Seven

  Sneak peek of Soothing Suffering, a free Black Shamrocks MC | Introductory Novella

  Sneak peek of Conan, Black Shamrocks MC: First Generation | Book One

  Available now by Kylie Hillman

  About Kylie Hillman

  Contact Kylie Hillman

  Acknowledgements

  Contents

  DEDICATION

  To the monster that resides in all of us.

  Some like to play in the light.

  They enjoy the pretence.

  Other monsters crave control.

  At any expense.

  PLAYLIST

  Music is my main inspiration.

  Follow Craving Control’s playlist on SPOTIFY

  AUTHOR NOTE

  This story contains graphic depictions of potentially triggering events. This is not a romance. This is a brutal, violent, painful, heartbreaking, one-sided “love” story. It is the tale of one man’s battle against his demons and one woman’s fight to survive him. Elements of this story may be triggering for some readers. Please CLICK HERE if you wish to learn more about the content of this story.

  This companion story is part of the Black Shamrocks MC series. It can be read at any time in the series, although it does contain spoilers for Seizing Control, Black Shamrocks MC | Book One and minor spoilers for events later in the series.

  AUTHOR NOTE: This story is set in Australia and is written in UK English.

  PROLOGUE

  “The scariest monsters are the ones that lurk within our souls.” ~Edgar Allen Poe~

  It all started innocently enough.

  One warm December day, I spotted her crossing the street in our small town, and that was it, I was irrevocably intrigued. I asked my dad who she was—my mind moving at a million miles an hour when he reminded me that she was Benjamin O’Brien’s twin sister.

  The changes in her body since the last time I’d laid eyes on her led me straight down a carnal path and I was done for. Devious delight infiltrated my veins, a potently powerful plan for payback against my greatest enemy forming within seconds.

  One. Because I hated Benji with a white-hot rage that would scorch the earth around me if I ever set it free. He had everything I pretended to possess—and he didn’t deserve it.

  Two. Because she was the purest looking angel I’d ever had the privilege to lay eyes on. It was apparent with barely a glance that she was untouched—completely unsullied by the hands of any man. My palms itched with the need to be the first to mark her.

  And, three. Because in his next breath, my asshole father demanded that I stay away from her. That on its own was the equivalent of a red rag to a bull. My sole reason for living was to openly flout his steely determination to turn me into everything he’d been denied the opportunity to become.

  Little did I know that it would all backfire in epic proportions. For the first time, my heart would beat in my chest for someone other than myself. I would discover how it felt to live with the constant fear of losing the one person who means more to you than anything. The feelings she created would cause the urges I’d buried for most of my adult life to come racing to the fore, leaving me helpless to fight them.

  Each carefully orchestrated moment I spent with her would strip my defences bare, not hers, as I’d planned. Her sincere smile. Her blue eyes filled with kindness. Her love for her family and friends. I wanted all of that for myself, so I decided that I’d stop at nothing to own her.

  It turned out that while she was pure, she was also a wild w
oman. A strong woman. An unbreakable woman? I needed to find out. Bending her will until she yielded to me. Stealing her heart from out of his cancerous hold would be harder than I anticipated. The yearning began to eat me alive. Taming her would become my greatest obstacle and my most precious reward.

  She was a challenge I was more than happy to accept.

  Until she denied me, and it became a fight to the death.

  Then, it quickly became apparent that only one of us was going to escape with their life.

  As a betting man, I would have laid every cent of my multi-million-dollar inheritance on the fact that I would be the victor.

  Except, I’d underestimated her.

  So, now, as my life comes to an end, I embrace the memories of the short time that she was mine. It keeps me warm as the blood drains from my cooling body—while it taunts me with the reminder that we could’ve ended differently if I’d been able to keep my craving for control on a tighter leash.

  ONE

  “Do you see that girl with Benji?” I ask my childhood friend, Hugo. He follows my head tilt, his eyes lighting up a second later.

  “The blonde?” His interest is piqued, exactly as I wanted. The blonde, who’s walking next to Benji O’Brien, is a fine piece of ass. The first such specimen we’ve seen to make it worth our while dragging our asses down to this godforsaken New Year’s party at our local town hall.

  ‘Smile and wave; impress the people.’ My dad’s directions run through my head.

  “Yeah, her.” I smirk at him, shaking my head to rid it of thoughts of my perpetually disapproving father, and dragging my attention back to the entertainment at hand. “I’m calling dibs.”

  Hugo punches me in the arm. “Bullshit, BT. You can’t call dibs on a chick that fine. A hottie like her would make the perfect prize for a bet.”

  From my superior height, I sneer down at my only true friend. He’s as empty on the inside as I am, so he’s always keen to follow me headfirst into my latest morally-corrupt plan. “She’s special. I have plans for her that don’t involve talking her into a quick fuck in the back of my truck before you can.”

  Crossing his arms over his chest, he looks between the blonde and Benji and me, then pauses his perusal to regard me with a puzzled expression for a moment. “What’s her connection to Benji O’Brien?”

  “She’s his twin, Madelaine.”

  He uncrosses his arms and traces the shape of a curvy woman in the air. “Well, Miss Madelaine has certainly filled out since we left High School.”

  The mention of school reminds me that there is a significant age gap between my newest prey and myself. Wracking my brains for Benji’s age, I put it at five years—remembering that I’d recently attended the “after-party” he’d held once the official celebration for his seventeenth birthday had finished.

  “That she has,” I muse as I run my eyes over her long, lush figure. From the top of her honey blonde hair to her big tits and further down to the hips that curve in perfect harmony with her chest, there isn’t a thing about Madelaine O’Brien that doesn’t scream ‘fuck me now’.

  I sink my teeth with vicious intent into my bottom lip. The pain is my cue to stop thinking with my dick and engage my actual brain. To pull this off, I need the blood in my big head, not the little one.

  “Watch this.” I raise my eyebrows at Hugo, a smile gracing my face as I see Benji walking away from his sister. Her scowl and the defiance in her stride tells me that this is my opening.

  My approach is stealthy. I walk in measured steps that put us on a collision course. Madelaine’s studious examination of the ground beneath her feet, a thoughtful expression creasing the smooth, tanned skin of her forehead, works in my favour. She doesn’t notice me until it’s too late.

  Just like I planned.

  When we hit, I ensure that I take the brunt of the impact. I wrap my arms around her and yank her to the ground. With graceful intent, I land on my back, and pull her tight against me. Her warm breath rushes over my face. Minty air surrounds me, mixed with her unique smell. Rose and vanilla, I’d guess from tasting the delicate scent I hold in my lungs.

  Madelaine’s cheek rests on my chest, directly over my heart. I relish her touch for a second before I speak. “Please excuse me, I am so sorry. I didn’t see you coming.”

  My voice is smooth. My manner that of a country gentleman. When startled, bright blue eyes look up at me, I have to stop myself from picking her up and running away with her. The woman lying on me is a contradiction—body of a whore, face of a Madonna. She’s made for sin; yet, awakens a never-before-felt protective instinct in me.

  Innocence and iniquity in one delectable package. Her bewitching gaze makes me want to kick my own ass for even thinking of using her as a pawn in my payback against her twin.

  Losing my edge to my surprising reaction to her touch gives Madelaine the chance to escape me. She puts her hands on the ground on either side of my chest and tries to push back to her feet. My hands have a mind of their own, they take hold of her waist and pull her back down to me. The feel of her breasts pillowing against me steals my breath. My fingertips are electrified where they make contact with the smooth warm skin above the waistband of her jeans, sending lightning bolts of arousal down the base of my spine.

  As I indulge in her closeness, I try to prolong our connection.

  “Are you okay?” I inquire, widening my eyes to disarm her. “We hit pretty hard.”

  Anxiety thumps in my chest when she wriggles in my grasp until I let go of her. She rolls off me with an elegant, economy of movement that has my cock grazing his head against my zipper. Her big tits heave when she takes a moment to catch her breath. My gaze refuses to leave them and I’m thankful that she doesn’t catch my blatant ogling.

  When she stands, Madelaine holds a hand out to me, and answers my earlier question. “I’m fine. Are you all right?”

  I take her smaller hand in mine, suppressing a shudder when the electricity shoots through me again. As I stand, I crowd her space to see how she’ll react. Madelaine’s reaction proves that she’s exactly what I thought—a pure, untouched angel. She takes a step back from me, putting a socially-acceptable amount of space between us. My ego dances when I see her dilated pupils.

  Madelaine O’Brien is affected by me.

  “I’m fine as well,” I reply with laughter in my voice. The laugh that I end my statement with is calculated. It’s the sexy chuckle that has every girl I meet discarding her panties without another word required. Madelaine has the opposite reaction. She tries to tug her hand out of mine. I hold tight, running my thumb over her knuckles instead. Pausing to wait for her response, disappointment overcomes me when she tries to pull her hand away again.

  She’s not going to be as easy as first thought.

  Time for the big guns.

  Leaves and small sticks are stuck to the back of my shirt, which I turn to show her. “Or I will be, if you’d be kind enough to get this crap off my back for me.”

  I recover from my earlier disenchantment when I feel Madelaine’s hand trembling as she runs it over my back from my shoulders down to my hips. Her angel status is driven home by her prudish avoidance of my lower back.

  Damned if I’m not going to enjoy ruining her innocence.

  “All done.” Two simple words are all I get out of her when she’s finished. I’d be certain my newest tactic hadn’t worked and would be searching for another approach if I hadn’t caught the breathless catch in her voice at the end.

  When I turn to face her again, I make sure my lady-killer smile is safely tucked away. Madelaine needs a dose of my boyish charm to settle her skittishness. A beguiling grin settles in place. It’s fake—completely for show. I’m the most dangerous person this girl is going to encounter in her life. She just doesn’t need to know that yet.

  Madelaine’s answering smile is forced. Her face blazes red after her embarrassment makes it way up her slender neck—and I promise myself that one day very soon, I’m go
ing to be tracing that path with my tongue ... and then my teeth.

  She gives me a jerky nod goodbye before turning to leave.

  Not so fast, little girl. I’m not finished with you yet.

  I seize hold of her upper arm and pull her back to me. A puzzled gaze meets mine, her plump lips pressing together in a tight line that telegraphs her discomfort.

  “You’re Madelaine O’Brien, aren’t you?” As I speak, I let my dark brown eyes drill into her blue orbs with an intensity that takes her past discomfort and right into annoyance. I expected Madelaine to wilt under my probing, but she doesn’t. Instead, her shoulders straighten, and she openly glares at me. Apparently, Madelaine has more spine than it appears at first glance. I file that knowledge away for future reference.

  With a curt shrug, she yanks her arm out of my grip. I feign hurt at her reaction, then watch her face. Nothing changes. Madelaine simply nods her head to indicate that I have her name correct.

  Again, I try to break down her defences. “You’re Benji’s sister?”

  “That's me. I prefer to be called Maddi, though.” Her answer is short, but her expression softens at my mention of her brother. Inwardly, I celebrate. We have identified Maddi’s first soft spot. “I’m actually his twin, even though no one can tell.”

  She laughs as she plays with her hair. Her twin is as dark as she is fair, however they’re not as unalike as she pretends. Their bone structure is identical, as is their above-average height, and exceptional good looks. The main difference is that Benji is very aware of his blessings while Maddi appears to be oblivious.

  “I’m Brendan Taylor. I’ve seen you around, but you don’t come to parties like Benji does, so I’ve never officially met you. Even though I've been dying to.” I lay it on thick, ending my introduction with a wink and holding my hand out to her.

  Seizing on the opportunity offered by the slight change in her demeanour, I unleash my panty-melting smile and flirtatious charm. My reward is the confusion that clouds her eyes. Maddi takes hold of my hand and shakes it. My teeth grind as I fight to hide my reaction to the charge that her touch sends through me. A sense of victory courses the same path as the electricity when I spy her eyes widening and I realise that she feels it as much as I do.